About — Mary Van Geffen

I’m Mary Van Geffen, the international parenting coach for moms of Spicy Ones™️.

Since 2011, I’ve worked with over one thousand parents to help transform how they show up for their kids, and for themselves.

I’m all about helping you practice the spiritual discipline of staying calm, kind, and firm with your spirited powerhouse of a kid, even when they don’t deserve it.

I help you gain confidence to choose gentle, respectful discipline, especially if you weren’t raised that way.

You don’t have to parent without a map.

Subscribe to get my weekly notes of encouragement directly to your inbox on Friday mornings.

A little about me…

The quick stats: I’m a certified Simplicity Parenting Counselor®, a certified Professional Co-Active Coach®, and have my Masters from Northwestern’s Kellogg School of Business.

Now for the really honest stuff: I’m a Highly Sensitive Person with diagnosed ADHD who has attended many Adult Children of Alcoholics meetings.

My greatest achievement is cultivating a calm, kind, and connected relationship with my spirited go-getter daughter (17), sporty, introverted son (15), and un-Enneagrammable hubby.

My main ministry is on Instagram.

Whether in daily stories, posts or wacky reels, you will find encouraging parenting tips in my little corner of the Internet every single day.

The little online community I’ve built will help you delight in your child and remember that you are enough. When a mother (like you!) realizes how hard you are on yourself and cracks the door open for some self-compassion, your entire family gets bathed in light!

Follow Me on Instagram

But wait…

Before you take advice from a stranger on the Internet, it’s important to find out where she stands on a few things. I want to give you a sense of my values before you decide whether or not to trust my advice.

Here are 3 beliefs I probably shouldn’t share right away, but I never was any good at surface-level chit-chat. Here goes…

I am a Gay-affirming Christian. Your LGBTQ+ child doesn’t have to change to be a fully functioning member of the Holy Family. God is a radically welcoming parent. May your family be as well.
Spanking grieves God. It’s abusive to hit a child or cause them physical pain (or emotional shame) in the name of teaching or controlling them. Your child is a gift from the Creator. Treat them as such.
Parents are not the God of their offspring. While you are certainly made in the image of God, you are not called to represent God’s authority on earth to your child. We are but fallen humans, failing forward. Your most sacred work is to learn to love your child unconditionally and to delight in them especially when you can’t control them. Sacrificial love isn’t easy, but the Holy Spirit will never forsake us.